If this tumblr is a representation of the shit I like then be prepared for a weird, wonderful, musical ride. If you don't like Paul Rudd or Ewoks then alas.. we cannot be friends. I live in a small town, praise jeebus for the internet.
  • teacher:
    where's your homework

  • me:
    where's leonardo dicaprio's oscar

tastefullyoffensive:

Joan Rivers on her own funeral. [via]
FML

I see a lot of people in the Northern Hemisphere going on about how early it is to be enjoying all things Fall, Halloween and Thanksgiving.

Here in the southern hemisphere where I work we’ve had FUCKING ADVENT CALENDARS ON SALE SINCE 1ST OF AUGUST. And now there are marshmellow santas, fruit mince pies and candy canes.  O_o

The struggle is real.

iswearimnotnaked:

im so PUMPED about fall!!!!! ill wear 500 sweaters i dont care ill shove a whole pumpkin up my ass

(via cuntysupreme)

meladoodle:

my dad just told me this story about a party he was at when he was younger. he was quite drunk, and went to go grab a random beer bottle to drink out of. after taking a sip he felt something hit his teeth and his immediate thought was ‘holy shit that was a snail’ and just started vomiting everywhere. then he looked down and saw it was just a bottle cap and i cant stop laughing. he was so certain about it

*snort*

bexlogic:

thempress:

People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

I want this on a badge over christmas time at my work, I don’t work at McDonalds but in retail where over the holiday period people practically froth at the mouth with rage if they can’t get what they want. I have been in line at a McDonalds at 2am with many other people patiently waiting and one silly woman ranted about how long it was taking and she had been working in retail for 2 years so she knew how bad this service was… I was thinking hey lady we’re all in this service sector together, pipe down! Your big mac is mere moments away!

(via roma-needs-a-toma)